library, vaginal stenosis, murder, and violets

We are on a bus going to some place awesome. Where that is, what concert it is, doesn't really matter. I got the tickets for us because it's something we've always wanted to do together. And when he wanted his friend to come along, I even got her a ticket. But now, rather than sitting by me on our romantic bus tour, he is five or six rows up sitting with her and not me. I am not pleased. I decide that I am not going to sit through this and be angry, I'm going to go do something that I enjoy. I ask his friend if the bus goes by the library, I just remembered that I have to get something there. She tells me that we just passed the road leading to it. I ask the driver to stop please so that I may get off. everyone waits patiently while we argue. I tell my boyfriend that I know I'm not his dreamgirl and that I know he never really wanted to share this with me. I pull out my wallet, give him the tickets, and tell them to have a good time.

At the boarding school they play a new game that is sweeping the world. All the young girls join hands and the coach is in the middle with cloth attached to him/her for the girls to hang on to. The girls form a asterisk and fan out. Then the coach starts spinning and the girls walk in circles. There are dozens of them on the field, one team takes up yards spinning their stars faster and faster, but at a gradual pace. When it feels like a good time, a girl falls down and lays on the ground and the rest of her star's arm continues spinning. You don't win or lose, but you perfect your ability to move as a team and know when someone is going to drop off so that you keep moving without slowing down or faltering.

In the locker room: The lockers all have LCD screens with faces on them. Some are baby photos of my nieces and nephews. Some are orphan girls who are strangers, some are top secret agents, some are just there. They loop lines we have had in movies going one by one through each locker. When it gets to my face i am a 14 year old with long hair and big white teeth. My image says calmly with a smile "vaginal stenosis". The girls in the locker room giggle and tell me they are so jealous of my line and so proud of me for saying it so clearly and sincerely. I tell them it was nothing. It really was nothing.

We are gong through abandoned houses. We have to find the right one to make our own in time. They gave the rescue dog the wrong time so the dog is going to appear ready to save a life but there won't be a reason to for another hour. We don't want the dog to sit around, get bored, and leave before the real danger is here so we are in a hurry. There are magic tools, construction tools, and kitchen tools in the houses right where they were left. College flags are tacked to the walls. Couches are becoming dusty without use. We find the right house and set up the party.

People start arriving in droves. I don't know any of them. We start playing the movie that will show the person arriving and the dog will distract him so that our friends can run him over with their car. People are BBQ-ing and the party is getting a little out of hand, so I ask an agent, why don't we just fast forward the movie? Someone accidentally recorded a children's show in between the beginning and end of our movie - why don't we just skip that and then the dog will be on time? Eventually the man is walking toward us. He is spotted down the street and I mention this. Everyone gets into their places, the couple gets in their car, but the guests keep on partying oblivious to the murder about to take place. My work is done, I can't do any more. A man walks in with a yellow plastic bag on his head as a hat. He goes into the bathroom, vomits in it, then comes out and ties it up and throws it in the trash.

This is not for me. Parties have never made me feel comfortable. I go outside into the large empty backyard. The grass is dry but there are thousands and thousands of pale wild violets covering the land. I start spinning until I feel like it would be the most pleasurable time to fall down. I do, and I just lay there alone in the violets staring at the overcast sky.